Fifty Shrinks: Reflections of a European psychologist in New York
A childhood memory: I stand at the threshold of my father's study and watch him intently as he is quietly absorbed in writing in his little red notebook. His concentrated facial expression has me intrigued in a whimsical way. Feeling my gaze on him, he looked up, smiled and said, "I'm writing down my dream from last night. You can do that too when you're bigger."
Our inner life yearns for expression. It longs for capture, attention, understanding, interpretation. I have always been fascinated by complexity that seeks clarification. Law school was a satisfying intellectual exercise in that regard. Going off to university at the age of 18, law seemed more mature, competitive and masculine than psychology. A few years into my legal career, however, I couldn't suppress the psychologist in me any longer. Or as I jokingly explained it to an inquiring patient, "I have been a therapist all my life, I just needed some time to come out."
Especially at the beginning of a treatment, it can be helpful to include dreams in the work. Patients find it easier to "let the dream speak" vicariously, and together we can be curious about what it has to tell us.
I have come to realize that my background as an expatriate Viennese unintentionally offers my New York patients rich projection material. "European" is readily associated with classical education, stable values, consistency and moderation. It seduces to romanticize the "Old World" and brings out a certain melancholy in having left it behind in one's own ancestors.
Self awareness grows out of the central dialectic between the idealized and the perceived self. Every morning, gently and gratefully, I slip into my mediating role and help my brave patients tackle their experienced and their imagined reality.
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